I am Ready. I am Able.: June 2016

baby

An Unofficial, Official Birthday

6:48:00 PM

Zane's unofficial first birthday party was yesterday and it was very sweet! Zane knew exactly what to do with the cupcake and there was hardly anything left to salvage when he was done. He was hysterical to watch and he savored every last bite of that bad boy.

Unfortunately, Mitch is gone with the military right now so we celebrated without our favorite person here. Fortunately, Mitch was able to call home right as we were about to start singing. The most adorable part of the night was when Mitch first showed up in the call, Zane said perfectly, "Hi dada!" It was the sweetest thing ever - but my heart hurt that Zane has had his dada gone for this long.

I can't wait to celebrate Zane's birthday again when Mitch can be there in person, egging Zane on to take unholy mouthfuls of more delicious cake. Until then, Facetime calls will be sufficient.

Happy First Birthday, little one! Stay tuned for a post all about Zane during his 12th month!

Ooh Baby, Baby?

10:59:00 PM

This is Zane's last few moments as a baby. In just an hour, Zane will be ONE and I am not necessarily dying inside, but you could call it that.

I am so excited for him to grow up and conquer his own little realm of the world, but a part of me also mourns the fact that he is growing more independent by the minute. He would rather be horsing around than snuggling and that just breaks my heart.

Zaney, as you embark into your second year of life, I hope you continue developing your strong will and determination. I've tried hard to let you be independent and develop a surety of yourself and your abilities on your own. My greatest wish as your mother is to raise you to be your own man, who follows your own gut and instincts, who cares more about his own morals and principles than that of the crowd. As we embark on this second year, I hope I can see your stubborness and rascallyness as more than just a one year old, but the makings of a man who will one day be completely true to himself.

I love you, my sweet toddler!

A Good Man: Father's Day 2016

5:20:00 PM

Today in church we talked about the attributes of greatness and overall, we summed greatness up as "consistently putting forth your best effort day by day." And it was like my Relief Society had a pair of binoculars and as we looked through them, we all set eyes on Mitchell Holt. And every second of that lesson, we talked about Mitch. And every word we spoke was Mitch. Because Mitchell is greatness. And he is greatness through consistency and compassion.

And his greatness occurs in depths I never knew greatness could extend to. With each day, he magnifies himself to be exactly what is needed in that moment. Greatness in loving me. Greatness in raising me up. Greatness in providing for me not only financially, but emotionally and physically as well. Greatness in that divine role of husband.

And so it had been for three years. But this year, he has proved to me that his greatness is even more encompassing than I had previously known. With Zane entering our lives, Mitchell's greatness grew to include diaper changing, bottle feeding, late nights and early mornings. His greatness is everything in between too, from snuggling Zane up for a nap, to wrestling, to practicing how to walk, and becoming even better at providing and motivating. His consistency in all of these things comes with a love and patience that astound me. And in that, there is greatness. Greatness in the most divine role of father.

Mitchell, Happy Father's Day. There are not enough words for me to tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. There are even far less for me to tell you how much I love you as a father, and how beautiful it is to watch you with Zane. You are greatness and more.

baby

The Many Faces of Zane: 11 Months

10:09:00 PM

Zane is 11 months old and getting into a serious rascal phase. He is constantly biting and then laughing viciously, biting, and laughing. If you try to lay down and take a nap, be sure that you have your feet well tucked under your blankets because Zane will somehow find your toes and give them a good chomp. He has also learned exactly how to get into what you don't want him to get into.

The most exciting thing ZZ is doing now is standing up, bending down to pick up a toy, and then standing up with it. He can stand without any assistance for quite some time and will stand himself up constantly and try to pick up the heaviest objects in a room. It is so exciting to see him this close to walking! I'm probably most excited for him to be able to walk himself around rather than having to be carried.

Zaney isn't saying many new words but he is constantly talking, screeching, and giggling. He points at whatever he likes or wants, and has a very vicious face to go alongside his pointing when I'm not getting the picture fast enough.

He's learned to hate naps and how to take off his diaper and two-piece pajamas, making some very wonderful early morning surprises. Thankfully we haven't gone full poop-smeared-all-over mode, but he has painted the walls in pee a few times.

Zane, despite all of your grouchiness, you are the funniest little guy. You are curious, energetic, and wild. You are independent and I am doing everything I can to foster that independence so that one day you can stand before your peers and be a leader. I love you, my little wild child.

See Zane's 10 month pictures here.

baby

June 18th

7:20:00 AM

This time last year, I was patiently waiting for Zaney to make his appearance into the world. Bloated, scratchy, and very tired, I might add. But Zaney didn't come. I've never been so impatient in my life as I was on this day. PUPPS will do that to you, I think. I was waking up from one benadryl induced coma long enough to put myself into the next one, and just hoping that when I woke up I would feel something other than itchy.

I can't believe it has been an entire year since I sat in a small little bedroom we were renting from an older couple, just anticipating the arrival of my little guy. I can remember Deanna, the woman we lived with coming to see me after work each day and praying over my stomach that Z would come. She was the sweetest, Deanna, the absolute sweetest. A year ago today, she sat and visited with me and read me scriptures from the Bible, made me cookies, pretty much anything she could think of to bring me some comfort.

Then, when Mitch got home, we walked three miles and jumped on the trampoline until I almost peed myself (aka two whole seconds). And then we went to bed and Mitch was jumping up and down with joy that Zane would come on Father's Day (he didn't). So I went to bed that night uncomfortable and still itchy, but hopeful that Mitch would have a special first Father's Day, wishing that the 6,000 pound child in my rib cage would find it a good day to be born as well.

He didn't.

Jurassic Park

9:48:00 AM

Tree Hugger!

Our time in Washington has been filled with some unimaginable green. While hiking we pretty much felt like at any moment we would realize we were in Jurassic Park and a dinosaur would pop out from any corner. Everything is so lush and everywhere you turn there is something even more gorgeous than the last. I have never loved going out and getting dirty as much as when we've been here.

Also, we've been borrowing this amazing baby backpack from a friend of ours and it is pretty much a palace for Zaney. It has a place for a camelback, a canopy, and is extremely comfortable to wear. When I've worn it, I was probably more comfortable than just carrying a regular backpack. I would recommend it for anyone that is wanting to find a high-end carrier.

Until our next adventure!

I Work Out: Progress

5:49:00 PM

So, I'm hesitant to share these pictures without really explaining the nitty gritty. Basically, I've started working out for an hour to two hours 6 days a week. And it has been amazing. I've lost a pant size, I've gained so much stamina and endurance, and I can feel my high school body coming back! It has been so motivating to see success. The first picture, pit stains and all, was right after I got done with a serious workout, and the second picture is from a timelapse I made of working out to a DVD to hold myself more accountable. So while they both aren't my resting body, I'm so proud of how I am doing! I've even reached a point where people at the gym have come to me asking me for advice on what they can do, which is such a flattering compliment!

I just wanted to take a minute to brag, and, in all honesty, to remind myself of what I've been achieving. Like I said, these aren't my resting body, and sometimes looking at my resting body feels so un-motivating. I can't see the strong muscle that resides underneath the lingering cellulite, or admire the tone and definition that my arms are starting to achieve. But looking at these pictures and seeing that they do actually exist is so thrilling.

I also wanted to put these on here so people (aka, the 6 Facebook friends of mine that have become Beach Body Coaches in the past month) realize they don't need to keep offering me coaching and send me messages that say, "I haven't seen you post any full-body pictures in a while. I just wanted to let you know that you can get your body back after having a baby!"

My next goal in this whole workout process is to get down to a size 6 jean, which I haven't been in since my senior year of high school. Hopefully I will be able to share good news and further progress pictures despite taking a long vacation in a week.

And to my Facebook 'friends,' I'm doing quite well without Shakeology, thank you.

Feet in the Ocean

5:34:00 PM

The Real Slim Sadie

We spent Sunday and Monday at different beaches and oh my goodness were they amazing. Mitch says I am being spoiled by 'beach days.' If it weren't for a scalding sunburn on my nose, I'm sure that I would agree with him.

Last summer, I was too pregnant to do anything too hot, but this summer, Zane and I are eating up every opportunity to get out of the house while we still can. It is so funny to look back on last year and wonder how I even had the opportunity to fall in love with Washington. I honestly spent a majority of my time playing Sims 3 and trying not to miss Mitch too much. In the fall, it is going to be much different when I am in student teaching and no longer getting to spend every day with my main man Zane.

The beach at Deception Pass is absolutely beautiful and worth every second. We walked the entire length of the beach, found sea shells, and just enjoyed all of the beauty around us. I got to reminisce about sailing, go 'surfing' on docks that were being upturned and hellbent by waves, and scavenge different tide pools looking for crabs and starfish. The ferry at Mulkiteo Beach also made its voyage right in front of us, every hour on the hour, in all of its bulking beauty.

Washington, how are we going to be able to leave?

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An Unofficial, Official Birthday

Ooh Baby, Baby?

A Good Man: Father's Day 2016

The Many Faces of Zane: 11 Months

June 18th

Jurassic Park

I Work Out: Progress

Feet in the Ocean

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