I've finally done it! I've gotten the scowl on film for good. Zane had a lot of scowls for me today. There is apparently nothing worse than being made to sit down and take pictures when there are all sorts of interesting things to look at and do.

Zane is 10 months old and I honestly don't even know how that happened. We've been so lucky to get to spend the summer together while Mitch works that I've lost track of the days. Zane and I have been adventuring in Washington, going to the gym, and laying out on the trampoline listening to Harry Potter this summer. It has been wonderful.

ZZ is very close to walking. He just needs some more practice on his feet first. He has great balance and the nerve to walk, but his little feet aren't strong enough yet to hold that large head up and move it. He loves bugs and animals, especially if they sit still long enough for him to really observe them. He doesn't mind one bit being put into the gym daycare and when I come to pick him up, it is almost like he pretends he doesn't know me. The ladies at the daycare pick him up and squeal, "Look it's mama!" only for Zane to look at me with concern and then try reaching for the toys again. It's led to some very awkward assurances that I am, in fact, a good mom haha.

Zane loves to be sneaky and try to get into things he shouldn't. He loves to crawl around with his hands full of markers, nerf gun darts, or lip gloss; anything he feels like he shouldn't have, the little angel. He loves to be outdoors and thinks it is very interesting to watch the bumblebees zoom around (aka, why he isn't looking in the pictures above). He also loves to climb up onto a beanbag and hurtle himself off of it, over and over.

My little guy is growing faster than I realize - and sometimes that's hard. But other times, I think about how we can run around or play catch, and I also can't help but look forward to when Zane is a little hellion that can run and be sweet and sour all in one.

See Zane's 9 Month pictures here.

Washington is amazing! All of the beauty you see before you happens to be 20 yards from our front door. I've never seen so much green anywhere in my life!

It is so gorgeous here in the summer that I'm falling in love with a temperate rain forest all over again. You can't beat 80 degree weather when you've got beautiful shaded landscapes to sneak off into and explore. I feel like I'm in a movie or a fantasy novel - it doesn't help that I'm reading Harry Potter so I'm right in the middle of imagining the classes and what they are like. I expect Herbology would be a lot like our backyard I also imagine that Harry and friends could come and study all of the amazing plants here.

Also, sometimes I like to imagine I'm a model (;

I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!

So far in Washington, I've done some serious "me-time" which is honestly what I've needed for a while. I've joined a gym, lost 10 pounds, listened to the first four Harry Potter books on audio, and bought some cute new clothes. It has been wonderful.

I'm most proud of going to the gym. I've struggled to lose my baby weight from having Zane and although I 'feel' skinny most of the time, people's off-hand remarks sometimes pull me down to reality and make me realize that I'm considered large now. People don't mean anything by their comments, I'm sure, but when women say, "Curvy girls like us can't have ice cream whenever we want!" to me, it's pretty upsetting. Because I've always felt confident in my own ice-cream-whenever-I-want-it body. Those comments started at Christmas when my mother-in-law was handing out Christmas pjs and made the comment, "Alex's is the large. Everyone else has mediums." Like a dagger, even though I know she didn't mean it - or even realize she had said it. But the sad truth is that these comments have continued for longer than I care to admit and each time they wear me down a little. I've noticed that those comments have been lingering after they've been said longer and longer in my mind each time.

Thankfully I usually have the self-confidence not to see myself as a 'curvy' girl most of the time, but to see myself as a creative girl or a compassionate girl, or to identify myself by the millions of other things that make up me rather than my size. I've been blessed with my mother's confidence and that is one of her features that I am most proud of owning. Her confidence includes a "get-in-there-and-do-what-needs-to-be-done" attitude - and I decided to use that attitude towards my body (and not just my crafting).

There's nothing more empowering for me right now that realizing that I am strong and that I have muscle under this baby weight. Today, I was working out my shoulders and back and as I watched myself in the mirror - which I can shamefully admit to - I felt strong. I felt powerful. And I felt proud of my body and my accomplishments. I felt good for the entire hour while I pushed myself to the limits (woman grunts and all) despite being around people who were in so much better shape than I am.

All the while, I've realized that I am more proud of my body than I was giving myself credit. Those days and weeks in between people's comments where I was happy with myself were because I recognized that I was strong and that I had endurance. My weight hasn't mattered - what is more important is that I am able to swing my son around like my body is his very own personal jungle gym. I've been able to go on bike rides with my sweet adrenaline junkie husband. I've been able to move and shake all day, every day and not have to take rests due to exhaustion.

I am so glad that I can define myself by so many other things than my body - but I'd be lying if I didn't say that being able to define myself as empowering and strong doesn't feel good. I'm excited to test my own limits and to continue building up my endurance and strength. As for now, I'll be figuring out a way to let my pride down when people question my ice cream eating abilities.