Something Wicked This Way Comes

This morning, at 6:00, I signed up for my next semester courses.

I am so giddy and nervous all at the same time! I'm finally into the nitty gritty of my major and I'm loving every minute of it! Well, not the math. Not looking forward to the math.

I'm really loving one of the classes I have this semester. It's called "Motivation and Management". In it, we are learning how to handle a classroom without resorting to treats or bribes to get children to learn. It's been incredibly interesting to learn all of the scientific studies on how children are motivated and what severe punishments and severe rewards can do to their intrinsic motivation. I've actually enjoyed this class so much, I've ordered quite a few of the books my teacher recommended. And quite a few as in 10 or 11. I've already finished 3 of them and am now moving onto the 4th book. Let's just say I am drinking the koolaid, guys.

One of the most interesting things that I've learned is how to create an environment where children can choose what it is they want to do. Obviously, they don't have free autonomy of choice, but it's been very thought provoking to see how you can run a classroom that aims to give kids choices in order to promote their own moral code.

A while ago, I read the book "Teaching Like Your Hair is on Fire" by Rafe Esquith, which I would recommend to any one who is teaching, whether it be in a school, a church, or doing seminars. He also has two other books, which are equally as great. In this particular book, Rafe mentions 6 Stages of Moral Development within a classroom. These stages are:

1. I don't want to get into trouble

2. I want a reward

3. I want to please someone else

4. I want to follow the rules

5. I am considerate of others

6. I have a personal code of behavior and I live by it

In my Motivation and Management class, we are learning how to take kids out of the first 5 stages of Moral Development and into the 6th stage. The first four stages are all about punishments and rewards. A child does something for a treat. A child answers a question to gain favor or acceptance from the teacher. A child obeys the rules because they will get punished if they do not. A child does not question the rules because then they would lose favor of the teacher. It all sort of intermingles. 

I was definitely the student that wanted to please my teachers. I was absolutely heartbroken on the days where my teachers were gruff with me, gave me a B on an assignment, or didn't pay attention to me. I was that annoying little suck up who lived within walking distance of the school and stayed after every day to get my 5 minutes with the teacher so that I could have praises and hallelujah's pronounced upon my little, eager brain. I was definitely a stage 3 and 4 student. I'd like to think that there were times when I reached the 5th stage or 6th stage because I was really doing it for myself, but I was mainly just concerned about what others thought of "that good little student, Alex". Thankfully, as I grew up a little and moved on to middle school where I had 8 different teachers, 200+ different classmates, and 1000 different assignments, I realized that nobody was going to pay any attention to me. The most recognition awarded in middle school was a "Good job" written on top of your paper, which nowhere near amounted to the praise I had received just a summer before. I think having this sort of background has helped me to make informed decisions on what it is I have learned in this class.

Many people are very shocked when I first start explaining the idea. Lot's of people are fine and dandy when you say "... and no punishment and no treats" but then, once you start mentioning that praise and compliments constitute as rewards, people lose it. I found that really interesting. There is a girl in my class who cannot handle the idea of not complimenting someone on somethings everyday. Her conversation went a little bit something like this:

"But I like to compliment random people as they walk by. It makes them feel good and I feel good knowing that I am doing it." - random girl
"So, you're saying that you get satisfaction knowing that you are making someone else feel good?" - Hawk-eyed Sister McManus
"Well, yeah. I like knowing that I make them feel good." - random girl
"That's the point. You are only doing it because you like the recognition you get from doing it. Chances are you don't really care about the jeans they are wearing or the lipstick they have on. You are saying it because you like making people feel good." - Sharp-tongued Ms. McManus
"But I don't get any recognition. They are mostly complete strangers. It makes their day!" - girl
"Well, what would happen if someone replied, 'thanks for telling me how I need to wear my hair in order to impress you.' Would you feel good then?" - Quick-witted Sister McManus
"No, I wouldn't feel good then, but no one has ever said that." - very confused girl
"See, the problem with compliments is the fact that you are essentially telling someone how they should dress to impress you. You are saying these things because you get to feel good about yourself by saying them. If someone were to say to you 'Your hair looks nice today' would you think 'Well, gee. What does my hair look like on other days?' Compliments such as 'Is that a new hairdo?' with a smile on your face can be a good way of complimenting someone without saying 'This is what you need to do to please me'. See how that works? We aren't telling someone what we think is attractive. We are noticing a change and if we feel the need to make a comment on it, comments should be non-judgmental." - Sister McManus

I think the most interesting thing about this course is learning how to use language in a way that isn't imposing on other people and yet is very thoughtful and constructive. It's definitely something that makes more sense when you really delve into the literature alongside the lessons. So far, I've read the books "Drive" by Daniel H. Pink, "Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes" by Alfie Kohn, and "Teaching with Love & Logic" by Jim Fay and David Funk. They have all touched on these topics - many not even in a school setting. These ideas are easily replicated within a home on a regular basis.

I have 5 more coming in the mail. I'd recommend picking one up if you are at all interested in learning how to run a home, a classroom, or a business without resorting to goodies, competitions, or other incentive plans!

Meanwhile, I'll just be here reading, dreading the rest of this semester, and looking forward to the next!

- Alex