High Society of Big Words: Mindset

I was recently given the book, Mindset, by Carol S. Dweck as a homework assignment, and I've got to admit, I kinda loved it.

Make no mistake, this is definitely a pop psychology book, but I felt like it was eye-opening to some of my bad habits.

You see, I'm someone that has always prided myself in being willing to do anything once (it comes with marrying a redneck, I guess). At least, I try to do anything once before I form an opinion on it. However, that isn't always the healthiest mentality, I've come to realize. While it is great that I am willing to try crawdad fishing with bacon or frog catching with my bare hands, once I've done it, if I didn't like it, I can cross it off of my list, never to try again.

And don't get me started on if I was good at it or not. That is a whole 'nother issue. Let's just put it this way: I don't like doing things that I am bad at. Being able to say that I've at least tried to do it once is simply a naughty habit I've gotten myself caught in. If I didn't like it, I am now under the impression that I never have to do it again.

The beautiful thing about this book was that it opened my eyes to these bad habits. It didn't spell them out for me, I definitely had to stumble upon those revelations on my own, but I feel like now that I've learned about the fixed mindset and the growth mindset, I'm more aware of when I'm holding myself back.

The fixed mindset is a trap I think a lot of us fall into. It is very easy to think that we aren't good at something and therefore write it off entirely. It's also extremely easy to believe that we are bad at something before ever trying it, and therefore never adventure to see what else lies in store for us. It's also incredibly easy and very human to think that failing at something means that we are a failure. Why on earth do you think so many people hate math?! This book highlighted real-life examples of people that fall into the fixed mindset. For example, let's say you get a C- on an exam. What is your mentality? Was it the teacher's fault for making too hard of a test? Would you stop studying for the next exams, knowing that you've already lost out on an A in the class? Would you set a goal to study harder and longer for the next test? Would you look at your studying habits and see what you could do differently? Would you see yourself as a failure?

What if on that very same day, while you were taking the test, you also came home to realize you had gotten a parking ticket or a high bill in the mail? Would you blame the world? Or would you pay off the bill/ticket and be more careful where you park later?

How about this: let's say you are extremely talented in an independent sport, like tennis or running or even croquet. One day you challenge someone to a game and you lose. Does this mean that you would stop playing that sport? Would you resolve to practice harder? Would you blame the conditions of the game? Break something, possibly? Ask for a rematch? Go home and do nothing? Pout?

Those that live in the fixed mindset believe that you either have talent or you don't. If you aren't good at something, give it up. If you are good at something, then don't try to take on too challenging of tasks because you might fail, and that failing is a direct reflection of you as a person rather than a chance to change.

By telling myself to try anything once, I was sticking myself into this fixed mindset box. I was looking for things that I was naturally talented in, and quickly finding out what I wasn't so that I could avoid those things. Reading this book helped me to realize that I have every opportunity to grow from experiences. I can look at any situation two ways: is it challenging me to become better or is it challenging me and my sense of self. 

There are so many personal revelations I had while reading this book. I would challenge you to read it. I recognize that at times it gets a little repetitive, and for those of you that are actually psychology students or experts, it does breaks some psychology rules - such as labeling and putting people into boxes. I also recognize that this is a pop psychology book and therefore it doesn't really have much scientific data written into the actual book. However, my challenge still stands. Read it and see if you discover anything about yourself, even if it has nothing to do with either mindset. If you do read it/have read it, please comment below! I would love to talk to you about it!