What the Bump?

You ever feel like you could just eat everything in sight? Yeah, I'm at that part of the pregnancy. This little guy is going to come out the size of an elephant at the rate he is making me eat. I feel like every hour, on the hour, I'm like "Give me that half-eaten sandwich or lose an arm." At least the little guy is growing big and strong. While I am always hungry, I haven't had a single craving except for when Mitch and I were walking through a sketchy gas station and I smelt it; that deliciously tootie-frootie smell that could only be God's greatest gift to mankind in the form of Pink Starburst Gum sold at the one and only sketch gas station in all of Rexburg, Idaho. It took all of my willpower to walk to the counter and pay for the gum before I chewed a piece. After that experience, so many weird cravings that I hear of suddenly seem to make sense. 

Today, we did gymnastics during my PE class and I am proud to say that this mama can still do quite a bit with this baby-makin' machine of a body. I did get stuck mid-tumble, but I'd like to think that my impressive jumping jacks made up for that. It's not like I needed two people to help me do jumping jacks... 

So far, I have still avoided peeing my pants, which is really quite a miracle. Every time I feel a sneeze coming on it truly becomes a life-threatening race to the nearest bathroom, just in case - y'know, I've started having dreams that I pee my pants on campus and have to just sit in a stall sobbing quietly to myself until my husband can come get me and awkwardly shuffle me to the car and still love me afterwards. Except it's a dream, and in them, our car is parked on Venus or the bathroom stalls are all taken and there's a line and I'm just sitting there in my pee-pants trying to be nonchalant but everyone is like "Do you see that pee-pants girl?" and every person I've ever known shows up and is like, "Wow, Alex is incontinent and totally peed her pants. Let me go up to her and try to make her feel better by bringing up every other embarrassing thing dream-Alex has ever done and comparing it to her pee situation." Pregnancy dreams are the weirdest. Also, I've found I tend to rant about embarrassing stuff, like dream-pee-pants. FYI, if I do ever pee my pants, just let me wallow in pee-pants shame alone. FYI again, if you see me running to the bathroom, you just let me run, just let me pass you and keep going so I don't do the awkward potty dance while I chat with you because I will totally do that awkward potty dance and tell you I have to pee every 5 seconds that you are talking to me. No shame in pregnancy, I'd like to think. 

This baby is still nameless, although we have gotten it down to two names. One I used to be in love with until Mitch found another name and recommended it to me. Now I LOVE that name and he LOVES the name I originally loved. I think it's all a tactic to keep the baby nameless. Mitch just wants me to suffer in baby-nameless shame. If this baby pops out of the womb with no name, don't be surprised. It's his father's fault... and he calls me indecisive. For now I just refer to the baby as "Son" but that can get very confusing when I'm telling a story, especially because I don't have the grace to only use that distinction when talking with Mitch. I totally told some random girl in one of my classes a story and she probably thought I was crazy.

Overall, not much has changed except for this little guy can kick. It's like a kickboxing match but inside of my tummy and I didn't realize I was competing until I get a really ferocious snatch to the bladder at 2:00 in the morning. Mitch can finally feel his kicks, which makes it all worth it, even if it feels like he is giving me kidney-punches from the inside. Lately, the baby will find where Mitch's hand is and just rest his little jabbed elbow in that spot for a while. I'd like to think of it as the baby's way of holding hands, even if it is uncomfortable and Mitch can't tell what is happening.

I am so excited for this little guy! His baby shower is just two weeks away! I did all of the calligraphy for the invitations and it has been so fun to prep for his H.P themed baby shower.