Teenage Bride

Yesterday, I was visiting with my family and my mother asked me if I was glad that I married Mitch. It was an interesting question, to say the least. She didn't sound concerned, but with my mother, you never know what she is thinking when she brings something like that up. She is very worried about me being so young and married - especially because I'm so baby hungry.

Then I remembered, on Father's Day, I had called my grandpa to tell him I loved him and that I was thinking of him, when he asked me if I was happy being married at 19. He thought I was getting married because I was pregnant or because I was just interested in having kids soon. He chalked it up to "those Mormons always have kids early." 

In my classes, people will ask me if I regret getting married so soon, if I regret marrying who I married, and if I am still happy. They comment on how they don't think they could get married so young and that I was crazy for doing it myself.

Yesterday, my younger sister told me, "I sometimes think it's so weird that you are married. You're like, Alex. I can't get over the fact that you're already married."

In high school, I had dated a boy quite seriously and for a very long time. I was so sure that I was going to marry him, I didn't even think about opening myself up to the possibilities of other options. We had dated for almost 3 years and I already had a diamond necklace, home goods for our first place together, and his family treated me like I was their daughter-in-law. What I failed to realize about that relationship at the time was that I was not happy, I was just complacent. I was fine where I was, but I wasn't progressing, I wasn't getting happier, and it got to the point where I thought that was completely fine. I thought that was just what marriage was supposed to be like; happy enough that you didn't consider leaving, but not always fulfilling. I was willing to accept that and I was willing to accept the fact that I would probably never go to church again, I would settle and maybe have one or two children, and I would pretty much be complacent the rest of my life. 

Can I take a minute to tell you how blessed I was when that relationship finally ended?! I thought it was the end of my world, but what I failed to realize was that it was the best learning and growing experience of my young life. I recognized what I didn't want in my life and what I wasn't willing to settle for, which was an amazing lesson to get as an 18 year old.

While I received this lesson early, it still didn't completely prepare me to get married. In fact, after that relationship, I told myself that I wouldn't get married until after college - I even tried telling myself to not date steadily until I was in college and just live life single. That sort of worked. I went on dates and dated around, always keeping in mind my "sworn-off-men" mentality. It actually wasn't until I met Mitch and profusely told him (even on our first date), "I know you're an RM, but I'm not interested in getting married anytime soon," that I realized I liked him way more than I thought I did.

... I even told him that I loved him first... and he didn't reply... for two weeks...

...And I was married before my first semester of college even started. So much for swearing off men, right?